"SUZUKI-SAN
SPECS"
[Patent Pending]
The
Amazing NEW product from THE ACME REIKI CO.
Over several years now numerous Reiki-Folk have
expressed serious doubts
as to the existence of the Tendai Buddhist nun
- referred to simply as "Suzuki-san" -
who, so it is claimed by Chris Marsh, is the direct source of
the teachings presented under the name: 'Usui Teate'.
The
primary reason for this doubt is simply that no-one,
other than apparently Chris himself, has ever seen this nun...
UNTIL
NOW!
In early July
2008 a team of Reiki Masters came together to investigate the
'Suzuki-san Mystery'
(From the outset, we knew that this was going to be a difficult
task - especially as 'nun' of us could see her...)
We
had theorized that perhaps the reason for Suzuki-san's invisibility
was that she was a practitioner of the ancient Tendai Mikkyo 'Discipline
of Bodily Concealment' - a mystical practice involving the performance
of a series of ritual gestures, intonations and visualizations
- not unlike the 'kuji-in' (another Mikkyo Buddhist practice,
yet more commonly associated with b-movie Ninjas!).
Then
one of our team, through a brilliant piece of deduction (and no
doubt a little Reiki-based inspiration), realized that the reason
Chris could see Suzuki-san, where others could not, was possibly
due the spectacles he was wearing.
Further
investigation confirmed this theory. It seems that by sheer fluke
(or otherwise) Chris's particular optical requirements had resulted
in him being prescribed a unique pair of spectacles - ones having
very special light-refracting qualities [not dissimilar to qualities
found in both the famous X-ray Specs and the slightly less popular
'Aura goggles'] which enabled him to see through the Tendai nun's
mystical 'cloak of bodily concealment'.
As
a result of this breakthrough, we proceeded to 'appropriate' of
a copy of Chris's actual Optical Prescription, and, with the assistance
of a qualified and highly skillful optometrist, produce a prototype
batch of spectacles which, whilst no longer specific to Chris's
particular optical requirements, still retained the necessary
light-refracting qualities to enable the wearer to see the hitherto
invisible nun.
We
have named these amazing new 'visionary enhancement aids':
THE
SUZUKI-SAN SPECS
(Only
available direct from the manufacturer's dBay store.)
Hurry!
Get yours now, while stocks last!
Hear
what one satisfied customer had to say about the "Suzuki-san
Specs":
We
at the ACME REIKI CO. acknowledge that the Suzuki-san Specs (pictured
above) are perhaps in need of a style makeover, and so are currently
in discussion with designers at the world-famous Rei-ban company,
and hope to go into production of a complete range of Designer
Suzuki-san Specs, sometime in the next few months
We
are also currently looking into the financial viability of producing
Suzuki-san Contact Lenses.
So
watch this space!
(preferably
whilst wearing your Suzuki-san Specs)
______
NOTE: not only will these precision-engineered 'visionary
enhancement aids' enable you to see Suzuki-san
- they will also enable you to see several other 'hidden' Tendai
nuns, including Kawazaki-san, Yamaha-san and Honda-san.
Who
knows, you might even catch a glimpse of a couple of current members
of the Usui Reiki Ryoho Gakkai…
